Behold my chamber of Christmas gifts!

‘Not this year. mate!’

For it is barren and I really don’t care……….

Today is now the 14th of December. That leaves a bit over ten days till the... day. Look around my room, it lacks both gifts and the appropriate seasonal paper to wrap around them. Because?

I have no interest in giving gifts at Christmas anymore. None. Zip. Zilch. Nada. Nein. Nyet. Fucking no-way.

And I feel pretty good about that.

And don’t think I’m hyperventilating and will crack under pressure.

Ain’t happening. I am seriously rethinking what I do around this time of year. And the most glaring and sensible decision is to NOT waste a butt-load of money on crappy gifts. Fuck that. No malls, no halls, no Xmas balls. Hasta la vista, crappy mas de la Christa!

'Now why didnt I think of that?!’

Now, I will say that I don’t want to start a world-wide trend.

Disclosure; he did, indeed, wish to start world-wide trend.

Historically, both the governments of the UK and the colonial government of New England got around to banning Christmas in the 17th Century. They even made just celebrating it a criminal offence. This is obviously an over-reach…. or a very good start, depending on your inclinations.

At the very least Santa didn’t visit those guys. And no gifts were exchanged. Do I think that those people who enforced that ban were admonished by the Baby Jesus or the Grinch? Fuck no! They got up on the 25th and were like, ‘Look at all these extra coins in my purse! I’m healthy, wise AND wealthy! It is good to be me!’

Father Christmas getting his halls decked in the 17th Century.

And who am I to go against such an historical precedent? This year I embrace the past and a sensible 350 year old tradition of just ignoring Christmas and not wasting my wages on shiny objects, flimsy cards and cringingly badly wrapping paper. I intend to sleep in late, breakfast large and watch cats suffer in ridiculously amusing Santa outfits. Who’s with me?

Hoomans! We will chase you back into trees unless this stops!

Photo & IP credits: Infant in Santa outfit, Oleg Sergeichik [ https://unsplash.com/@kpebedko_o ] // Shocked Santa, Andrea Piacquadio [ https://www.instagram.com/andreapiacquadio_/ ] // Suffering kitty 1, Andreas Brun [ https://www.instagram.com/andreas.brun.fr/ ] // Suffering kitty 2, Amin Alizadeh [ https://unsplash.com/@theaminalizadeh ].